Here is the link for my Portfolio: https://sites.google.com/view/exploringtheepicsofindia/home?authuser=0
Thank you to everyone who leaves a comment!
Thank you to everyone who leaves a comment!
I am studying Nonprofit Administration, and graduating in May. I come from St. Louis, MO, where I've spent just over half of my life. I have two siblings, a 9 year-old brother and a 2 year-old sister, both the best little humans to grace this earth. I've enjoyed my time at OU, during which I spent a semester at Kyungpook National University in Daegu, South Korea. During my time there, I was able to hike many of the mountains surrounding Daegu, visit some gorgeous temples and sites of historical significance, and also hop over to Japan for a little less than a week. I've also been to Frankfurt, Heidelberg, and surrounding towns in Germany. I love both places. My most recent international travel took me to Monterrey, Mexico, with my fiancé and his mother. He was born there, and still has a large part of his family living there. It was lovely to meet them, and they were kind enough to take me all over the city, visiting museums and parks, and eating lots of amazing foo
HI Alena,
ReplyDeleteI hate starting comments with suggestions but this is a bit important... The link to your comment wall does not allow me to see your blog or the wall. I don't know why. It may be just me, but seeing as there are no other comments, it may be a recurring problem. Also, I think that you should put a link up on a separate page with a heading in the bar at the top so that the wall is easier to find.
Okay now on to what I really wanted to say! I loved your first story. I think that plot was hilarious, I can imagine that the wife in the original story was rather exasperated. I like the way you named your characters, its always the hardest part for me! I also like the image at the bottom, it was a perfect way to sum up Mrs. Croc's feelings. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Hi Alena,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I'll say I love the layout of your website. The images are easy to look at and the text is easy to read. I did have the same issue the person before me had, as I was unable to access the comment wall through the link you provided. It just sends me to a blank link with text explaining I am not allowed to see the page. Maybe you have the link wrong? Not sure. Other than that, I would probably make the meme smaller? I just think it takes up too much room on the page as a whole. In regard to the story, I really enjoyed reading it and the break up of dialogue made it easy to take in. The only thing I might add is more exposition at the beginning about the main characters and the setting it takes place in? I just feel like we sort of dove into dialogue without me knowing much of what was going on. Besides that, it's a wonderful story! Great job!
Hi Alena! I love what you did with the Jataka Tale "The Crocodile in the River". You took the story and made your own original spin-off from it, which I think is what impressed me most! I also like how you added more personality to Mrs. Crocodile, and the dynamic between Mrs. Crocodile and Mrs. Piranha is great. Have you considered adding a connection to the other Jataka Tale, "The Crocodile and the Monkey's Heart?" I think your story was great so I don't think I have any major criticisms. I liked your writing style and your take on the tale, so I would be interested in reading more about the family dynamic if you felt you could expand more on it. Like the others I also had some issues with the link on your portfolio home page to the comment wall! It linked to a page I "didn't have permission to view", and so I think there might be something wrong with the link. Overall, I enjoyed reading your story!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your rewrite. It was amusing and entertaining all around. I loved the characterization of Mrs. Crocodile. I can just see a pregnant crocodile all worked up with hormones raging just wanting some attention from her lady friends. I also liked the image you placed at the end of your story that related to everything. I would advise you take a look at your author's note again. I found myself struggling through a lot of it. I wondered if you meant to write it another way. I didn't catch anything in the actual story that I thought needed a second look at. I like the simplicity of the setup of your storybook site. It was easy to navigate and appealing to the eyes. Your image on the intro to your portfolio is not completely revealed. You might be able to expand the banner image or something? Just a suggestion of something I noticed.
ReplyDeleteHi Alena,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed browsing through your portfolio and seeing how you designed your banner and different sections. I think your home page picture is excellent and awesome representation of this course and your portfolio. I actually did the story over the crocodile at one point in the semester. You put a very interesting and enjoyable spin on it. I liked how Mrs. Croc was carrying crocodile babies. I also thought your use of the crocodile meme and how you related it to common behavior and experiences in coupled relationships. One suggestion I would say is to fix the link to the comment wall on your home page . When I clicked on it, it said I do not have access to it. Another thing I might suggest is adding a short description of your portfolio and what to expect. I would say you had a great story and I look forward to reading more.
Hello Alena,
ReplyDeleteHahaha I love the humor you used to begin your story. I have spent a good deal of time around pregnant women in my family and they for sure had cravings. I also like that this gives a background for why Mrs. Crocodile so desperately wanted the Monkey's heart. Her craving was not explained at all in the original story. I also love the sarcasm Mrs. Crocodile used a little later on in the story. The quote, "My dear genius of a husband" put a smile on my face. You did an awesome job at creating such a great character in your story!
How old is Mr. Crocodile in your story? Seems like he's having back trouble a little to early. Hope he gets better before the little crocs come about. Raising children is probably way more difficult than catching a monkey. I hope he figures it out haha.
One thing I would have loved to see is some dialogue between Mr. and Mrs. Crocodile. I imagine it might be pretty funny. That's not all that big of a deal though. Thanks for the story. It was a fun read!
Hi Alena,
ReplyDeleteWell, it looks like you got the link/comment wall issue fixed, so don't worry about that!
First, your presentation of different personalities and humor was stellar, I actually really enjoyed reading the dialogue, which can oftentimes be stilted or flat because the author is trying so hard to share information in short conversations. However, your dialogue was pretty realistic, and it's easy to picture old friends having similar conversations.
Something I do wonder about is whether the Crocodiles are actually having marriage issues haha. Just that undercurrent of condescension in Mrs. Crocodile's tone. But on the real, I would have liked to see more interaction between the crocodile couple.
And last but not least, what if you added his side of the story, perhaps when he's talking to his friends? I think that would be an interesting touch and would give more insight into Mr. Crocodile's character, and whether he's really as dumb as his wife makes him out to be.
Hi Alena!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I loved the layout of your site. It was so easy to navigate and the colors and pictures really made it entertaining as I was perusing around. I decided to write about reading your Crocodile story. I can easily say this has been my favorite read all semester! What a fun and unique twist on this story. I would have never thought to write about this story from such a complete opposite point of view. Not to mention that this story gets to start off where the other one ends, how fun! The meme of the crocodile made me smile, it was fun to see a creative and modern addition to the story. I appreciate extra things like that when they are added to stories. It may not seem like too much but from a reader point of view it can add so much to the story in its whole.
Also, I really appreciated the level of depth that you included in all of your characters AND in their dialogue. That makes or breaks a story for me I feel like. Little details about the island's location and things like that are so cute. I would much rather read a shorter story with this level of attention to detail than a longer one that is very dry! Great job and good luck with the rest of your semester! I hope that I get to read more of your stories through the rest of the semester.
Alena,
ReplyDeleteI literally laughed aloud as I read your supplement to The Crocodile in the River. The cliché’s you expressed in your story DO certainly happen more than any of us would like to admit. I can say, from my own experience as a married man, sometimes it is easier to give short simple answers and take the blame for an outcome, rather than spend a lot of time pontificating on a subject that I would rather not spend anymore mental energy on. It is a form of stubbornness, no doubt. By your story, Mrs. Crocodile rightfully feels like the Mr. isn’t carrying his weight while she is bearing their children. He certainly does owe her some considerable time off once the baby crocs arrive because he can’t carry share the load in other ways! Although you admit that your story is drawn from a stereotypical troupe, it is well written, light hearted, and enjoyable. Seeing the greater context to a given story’s setting and character’s is always entertaining to me. Since you have taking that step in your story telling, I would like to challenge you tell the tale of the monkey’s significant other. Something tells me that you could come up with a wonderful narrative there as well.
Hey Alena,
ReplyDeleteI like how you started off with the story of "Mrs. Crocodile Needs to Vent" with Mrs. Crocodile being pregnant and having a craving for a monkey's heart. It is an unusual craving, but can totally be explained by a pregnancy craving. The way you interpreted the entire story was amazing. All the animals seem like humans. I mean Mrs. Crocodile is complaining about her husband which is something I see with wives all the time. That part where Mrs. Crocodile threatened Mr. Crocodile that she would go out and hunt while he took care of the kids were hilarious. Too bad he could not get the monkey's heart. I guess he will have to take care of the kids. For your author's note, you did a really good job in explaining what you did to change the story. I think you should consider writing a short summary of what the original story was like.
Your classmate,
Joanna
Howdy Alena,
ReplyDeleteI would first like to discuss your portfolio website. I thought the design and layout of your website was very neat and clean cut. I thought your website was simple and eye appealing. I also really enjoyed each of the banner photos, they each fit so perfectly with the content on each page. Overall, your website looks very nice.
Now to discuss your second story, "Mrs. Crocodile needs to Vent." I thought this was a fun spin on the original story, "The Crocodile in the River." I thought it was creative that the purpose of the crocodile wanting to eat the monkey was because of pregnancy cravings. I have been around enough soon-to-be mothers to know not to questions their cravings...lol. I really enjoyed reading your story, but I do have a question. Why did you not give the animals actual names or “punny” names? Was there a significance to leaving their names as Mrs. or Mr. animal? Overall, I thought your story was super cute and a fun read!
Hi Alena,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed both of the stories in your portfolio. I especially liked the story of Diana that was centered around her mother, Hippolyta. The amount of detail in your stories was very good and helped me to feel more immersed in the story you created as a reader. I also liked your use of dialog in the second story about Mrs. Crocodile hardships over Mr. Crocodile failing to get a monkeys heart to resolve her cravings. The word choice in the dialog helped it to feel like a real conversation between two people. I really liked the images you chose for this story. I think the images you used for your Diana and Mrs. Crocodile Needs to Vent pages helped the story to come to life. They also helped me to feel more immersed in the story. What I would suggest on the home page of your website is to change the banner images to fit better with the rest of the portfolio. This is because when I looked the home page I thought initially that your portfolio was going to be more centered around the theme in the banner picture instead of what it actually is.
Hi Alena,
ReplyDeleteSince we’re supposed to focus on Author’s Notes for this weeks feedback (something I just noticed), I wanted to start out by saying how much I appreciated the account of your thought process you gave for “Diana.” It gave the story a lot of new dimensions for me, and it’s very interesting to see how you connected this notion of powerful but needy children across mythological domains.
Your story itself was touching and very well written. You really got across the depth of feeling I think you were trying to convey, and the “plotless” nature of the recollection somehow only gives it more power. The image of the Greek gods standing over Hippolyta as time stretches on and she carefully forms every detail of her child is such a great visual, both just as a freeze-frame and as some kind of metaphor.
One little stylistic note: in your list of gifts from the gods, maybe you can make each clause have the same form? That might make it a more powerful sentence.
Thanks,
A.M.
Hi Alena, I enjoyed reading through your short story, Mrs. Crocodile Needs to Vent. I thought you did an excellent job with this different point of view for the story. I especially enjoyed the intentional or unintentional humor the story had to it. The way the character of Mrs. Crocodile talks about Mr. Crocodile gave me a few smiles when reading through it. This weeks assignment asks us to talk about the authors note. I think you did a good job as well talking about your thought process behind the story and all the little details you were considering when choosing to write about this topic. It is true, men or the husband are usually off doing something goofy or foolish with all the right intentions, but at the end of the day realize they're prolly going about this all the wrong way. I sure hope Mr. Crocodile gets that monkeys heart for Mrs. Crocodile. I am rooting for the guy!
ReplyDeleteHi Alena! I love how you wrote your story and it was very well written! You provided a lot of details in your story. It had so much description on the visuals that I was able to imagine your story and understand it better! I also enjoy the amount of dialogue you added in your stories. A good story seems to always have a lot of dialogue so we can understand them better by how it feel or react! The best part of it all, you added a meme that caught my attention at first! A good story and a good meme always seems to perfect it all. Reading your author's note, I think you did a good job at explaining the purpose and what you did differently. Makes me understand the purpose better on why you wrote it! Overall, good job on your story!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHi! I would like to begin by saying that I enjoyed reading your stories! I thought that each of the stories were well-written. With that being said, I think I’ve only read the second story that you chose to write about. Furthermore, I liked how you added the comedic effect to the story. I also think that it is a common stereotype for married couples, in which the husband does something foolish and the wife laughs it off. With that being said, I like how you were able to include in the author’s note to what inspired you to write the story. I think that is a really good way to lead your author’s note. It lets the readers know how you started and ended from the story. Moreover, I don’t think I have any suggestions for your author’s notes. I thought your stories were well-written, and I can’t wait to read more!
Alena, when I saw the title of the story "Diana," I immediately thought of Wonder Woman. And I was not disappointed! I feel like that story could be part of the Myth-Folklore class as a sort of origin story for a modern-day supernatural being (which, as you mentioned, is what modern day superheroes pretty much are). I thought the parallels you noticed between Krishna, Diana, and Jesus Christ were interesting! I had never considered those, but it's true. The sense of apprehension a mother must feel when she knows her child is born from a higher power must be pretty overwhelming. But what can she do but raise the child? Surely that is how Mary must have felt. Great storytelling!
ReplyDeleteHi Alena!
ReplyDeleteI loved the story of Mrs. Crocodile. The image of a crocodile and a piranha sitting daintily in a parlor over the equivalent of tea cakes and gossiping is hilarious to me. I also like your use of dialogue. You gave everyone a lot of character and personality. I also enjoyed the story of Diana, as a fellow Wonder Woman nerd, but you should consider linking the Cradle Tales you based the story off of, which you referenced in the Author's Note. The same is true for the third story. It's very important to cite your source material. Also, to draw greater parallels between the story of Diana and Promila, you could have her bring some amazons to represent the handmaids, or even an army of other officers' secretaries that she had given armor and weapons! Overall, you have a very strong writing style, and I very much enjoyed this storybook.
Alena these stories are great. I particularly like the one about Mr. and Mrs. Crocodile. I read that children's tale and also took notes on it, I thought it was an entertaining read that painted how unwise Mr. Crocodile was in comparison to his wife. I'm imaging a bunch of aquatic animals sitting around a table gossiping about their lives at home with their husbands. It's quite the scene to imagine! I do like the switch up of having Mr. Crocodile pretend to be a rock rather than offering an across the river taxi service. Both the original and your version of the story do a good job of paining him like an idiot as he is in the story. I do wish you'd kept in the part about the monkey originally falling for the trap but tricking the crocodile that his heart was not in his chest but in the tree across the river.
ReplyDeleteHi Alena! I really liked your theme for your portfolio. The three stories that you had based on wonder woman were a smash hit. I am a huge fan of superheroes so I really liked your idea. I liked the old style of wonder woman that you chose. It gave me a nice glimpse into the past! It almost seems that wonder woman could have been based on the Indian epics! You do a great job showing what parallels there are with the use of your pictures. Showing wonder woman side by side riding a horse just like in the epics really shows the connection. Your website also looks superb! It has a good theme as well as it is aesthetically pleasing. I think you have one of the better websites in term of the overall theme. The only thing I would have liked to see differently would be a fourth wonder woman story!
ReplyDeleteHi Alena,
ReplyDeleteYour website looks fantastic. I like all of the picutres that you used. I also like how you used the header real estate to showcase the different picutres in the different webpages. Right off the bat, I have a couple of recommendations. I would recommend putting a picture in your comment wall, something interesting. Also, putting the link to your comment wall as a footer, so that you can go there from every page on your website. One of the things that I liked is how the last three stories are all tied up together with a common theme. You could have really gone with a storybook instead of a portfolio, well except for the first story. I really liked the parallels between your adventures of wonder woman and stories from the epics. Overall, I really enjoyed your website, and I would like to wish you good luck in the upcoming finals!